Brian of Pizzaspotz
Many of you are probably way too young to remember when God appeared back on the earth as a human. No, I’m talking about Jerusalem in the first half of the first century when he came to earth in the form of Jesus to take our sins away. I’m talking about 1977 when God appeared to an assistant grocery store manager in the form of an extremely aged senior citizen. Of course, this appearance was in the movie Oh, God featuring Geroge Burns and John Denver.
I know it’s quite hard to fathom, but 39 years later, God again appeared on earth, and believe it or not, at a grocery store once again. This time his appearance was in the Weis Supermarket in Shippensburg, PA, a town in the beautiful Cumberland Valley in central PA.
It was an exciting time inside the grocery store. It seems God was hungry and he took a pizza from the market. An employee asked the man who she didn’t recognize as God, whether or not he was going to purchase the pizza he had just taken. The man answered, in a not-so-Godlike voice, “No I’m not paying. I’m God and I own everything.”
The man, now identified as God, walked from the store and sat on a picnic table outside eating his pizza.
What would you do if you were confronted with God in the flesh? Some of us as Chrisitans might want to bow down and worship him there, even if it was in the middle of a grocery store. But not the clerk at Weis Supermarket. She promptly called the police on the man, or God, as he liked to be called.
A policeman found the man sitting at the picnic table eating what was left of the pizza. When asked his name, the man said he was God and said the police were the devil. There’s a dead giveaway right there, this man couldnt’ be God because his good book, the Bible, says we are to submit to our authorities. Even Jesus did that. There’s no way God would say the police are the devil.
The man claiming to be God was taken to the Franklin County Prison and fingerprinted. It turns out that the man was Adam Farrell of Scranton.
Farrell pleaded guilty and was fined and released. Guilty of what, news reports were sketchy on that specific. I’d assume misdemeanor theft and possibly ID theft too?
Glad it wasn’t really God, I’d hate to think the best pizza he could find would be in a Pennsylvania supermakret. And when God really comes back to earth, I really hope the next days news headlines don’t read, “God eats pizza in Pennsylvania grocery store.”
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